I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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