speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now