yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer