you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
