Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.