I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.