im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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