Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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