She is in my trunk
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
