apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
