...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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