I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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