she was so not down for the gang bang
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
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No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
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i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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