There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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