I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
