Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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