i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
