well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
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We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
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Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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