DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
