Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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