i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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