I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
