I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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