The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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