Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
