I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
