who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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