felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
