just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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