So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
