If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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