What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
