Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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