On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
