Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
only you would photoshop your dick
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize