The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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