He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
