oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Still dying that you shit outside
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
And then he peed in my hair
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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