Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
