Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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