He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
