Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
