I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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