Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize