five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
