drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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