just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
