your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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