so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
