I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize