You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
