ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
