hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
