Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
