when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
