This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
