Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
