If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
