remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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