i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
