Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
