Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
