And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well I just put wine in my tea
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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