Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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