I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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